Update - Thankful Thursday

I have tried to write this entry several times.  I have struggled with the burglary and all it entails - the loss of things and security as well as how to protect my children.  I have also struggled with my faith and the "why me" questions.  Of course it doesn't help to hear things like "Why do bad things happen to good people like you?" and "You don't deserve this.".  Well, no we didn't "deserve it".  I'm not sure anyone does.  And, unfortunately, bad things happen to everyone, not just bad people. 

It has been a few weeks and Shepherd and I are the only ones who still do not sleep through the night. None of our stuff has been returned although there is a suspect in custody.  He had just recently been paroled for...you guessed it...burglary.  We have a new door that our contractor guaranteed would break the arm or leg of the person who tried to break and down.  And, last week, my children played outside without us hovering near by for the first time.  So, life is returning to a fragile state of normal.  Fragile because we know how quickly feeling safe and secure can disappear. 

I guess Scott and I had lead a relatively risk free life having never dealt with anything like this together or in our lives before we were an us.  I can tell you there is nothing you can do to prepare for the violation you feel.  And, after much debate and soul searching, there is nothing we could have done to prevent this from happening.  We plan to ask friends traveling to China to purchase replacement items for our children in regards to CHOPS and jade pieces.  We can't replace the passports which will be a loss for our children but it is a loss we will have to explain for them when they are old enough to understand.  The other things had both material value as well as sentimental but my loss is more of the sentimental.  Each piece of my jewelry for instance was so much more than bling, it was a memory of places, events, and even history.  Many were one of a kind, hand made pieces I had had for years.  But, in the end, they are only things.

The biggest struggle has been with our faith.  Questioning why this would be allowed to happen when we have so faithfully followed God's plan for our family.  We have adopted four children in less than 2 years.  We were doing what we were supposed to, hence the "why me" questions.  What did we do wrong? The short answer is nothing.  The long answer is that sometimes we have to hit our knees to look up.  We looked up long and hard this time.  We asked for strength in order to be strong for our kids.  We had to be there rock and, therefore, God was ours.  And the great thing is, He didn't let us go.  He allowed us to grieve but reminded us what was truly important.  Our family was safe.  I had come home only a little early that day, but had planned to be home even earlier.  My delay "could" have saved my children.  We will never know the truth of what happened but I do know from life experiences that people who are desperate enough to knock your door down, crazy enough to break into your house in the middle of the afternoon, and confident enough to stay for a long while will do ANYTHING to get away.

So, we are till faithful and God is still our father who knows at times His children will stomp their feet and say "why" or "no fair".  But He is patient and understanding and, although it seems we will never learn, He has faith in US...

Thank you to everyone who has prayed for us during all of this.  We have felt your love and prayers surrounding us.  It has truly made a difference in our lives.

Blessings