I make this opening statement because we hear this question a lot. I think this is, in part, because we have a biological child so people wonder why we would choose to adopt. In some minds, albeit narrow minded minds, adoption is only for those who cannot have their own children. If you take even a peak into the adoption world, however, you find this is most often not the case. For us, the motivation was both spiritual and a desire to build our family. I also think we hear this because our family is made up of three nationalities, American, Chinese, and Ethiopian. We equally acknowledge each and try to incorporate traditions from each nationality. Makes it fun for the kids because we have more than the normal celebrations in a year!
There are differences, however, when it comes to adopting an older child. We have adopted a child at age 7, 5, 4, and 7 months and I have to say the baby has been the easiest in some ways. Attachment issues as well as issues stemming from institutionalization are minimized at such a young age, and, although we have passed many hurtles with our older children, there will be more issues to come. This type of trauma is not something they magically get over nor is it something we can "fix" just by being their family.
We make mistakes as parents too because life is stressful and frustrating. Some will have to adjust their parenting style - I did - in order to help your child progress and thrive. Any negative emotion on my part, can trigger a tantrum for one of my children. And, although I was never the parent to allow a child to have a tantrum, I now have to be smart about the battles I pick. I have had to relax, and, for those of you who know me, you should know this is VERY difficult for me. I am the traditional Type A, high strung, perfectionist.
God is changing who I am through my children. What an amazing way to be formed in His image. I see and appreciate more of life through the brown eyes of my babies who had such a different life before us. I forgot how wonderful grass feels between your toes or how fun it is to drink water and play in the water hose. Life, even with the ups and downs, is far more precious to us now.
Things you missed:
1. Samuel is now an official MIDDLE SCHOOLER!! Please pray...for all of us! :0)
2. Simon is now in FOURTH GRADE and received 3 medals and 1 certificate. We are so proud of him!
3. Sawyer graduated Pre K and will be in the Big K next year. He is so excited to be going to school with is big bros!
4. We have decided to keep Shepherd in Pre K for one more year. This will give him one more year to mature both physically and mentally.
5. Sophie now RUNS everywhere and puckers up when she gives kisses. She is also trying to sing the Itsy Bitsy Spider all on her own!
6. I have a baby girl clothes addiction! Someone, please help me! They make the stuff so stinking cute!
7. Life is good!!!!
Lots of love and blessings!
S7
